Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Fear... Control It Before It Controls You!

By Kurt Hurley

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
-Author, Unknown

Fear… The most overrated concept known to man! Fear is not reality, but rather a perception of reality. Interesting how all of mankind suffers this ‘perceived’ condition. The truth is, although we all have our fears, each of us can and should overcome this ‘self-concept of an unknown reality, all it really takes is the proper mindset, determination and will power to surmount this ‘elusive’ machination known as FEAR!

We all know, everyone has some sort of fear and most probably, it was brought about by any one or more of the following reasons.

1) A traumatic past incident; like being bitten by a dog or falling of an elevated structure.

2) The negative influence of other people.

3) Negative ways of thinking or perceiving.

4) Speaking in public and not having it go so well.

Okay, so we all have something we fear… Are you willing to let fear take over your life? Will you forever remain a hostage to your fear?

I’m not so…

Like me, if you are truly interested in eradicating your personal demons, you must emphatically take the necessary steps to overcome whatever it is that disables you. It's all in the mind.

Do you envy other people that fearlessly take a ride on the ‘wild side’? Do you just hang back observing other people living life and creating success?

Personally, my suggestion is to face your fear head-on, don’t let fear be the boss of you. Imagine yourself enjoying the experience of exhilaration, the excitement of staring fear in the face and winning and not succumbing to the crippling effects of the would of’s, could of’s, and should of’s! That’s no way to ‘live’ your life.

So maybe you want to be a doctor, but you're afraid that you can’t academically or intellectually make the grade? Or perhaps you're worried about financial insecurity or destitution?

Well here's the good news. If you're really determined to achieve your deepest desires, a powerful force will enable you to reach them amidst every obstacle that gets in the way. Someone or something will always be there to help you attain your goals. Just have faith in your abilities, be patient, persist and be grateful for the lessons you learn and you will succeed. Your willpower, your earnest desire and belief have a paramount capacity to assist you in your ability to accomplish anything.

Marry visualization with that desire, that belief and that willpower and you are in route to defeating any kind of fear.

Try this… let’s say you’re afraid of heights. Close your eyes and imagine yourself being on top of a mountain, overseeing the magnificent sights, feel the breeze on your face, smell the clean, fresh air, the sun warming your cheek. Take it in, enjoy and experience the moment. Let it take away all your worries and anxieties. This is your life. Don’t be afraid.

As Nike suggests… “Just do it! Face it head on! Savor the event of facing your fear; what do you have to lose?

This applies to whatever that triggers your fear factor. Clearly see yourself defeating it, then confront it with the definite knowing that you have the capacity to do anything and everything you want if you just put your mind to it. Mind over matter!

Statistics have proven that those that have faced the thing they feared the most, never fear anything again in their life. Sounds good to me.

Kurt's website http://www.kreatefitness.com, as well as his Provo Utah Private Fitness Facility Synergy Fitness Systems, specializes in in providing leading edge exercise and nutrition programs and a super premium supplement line. All of these superior products offer superior results.

Stop!, and Name Your Intention

By Martha Ruske

I usually write two newsletters a month for my website, but recently I missed an issue. I had gone away on a “rustic retreat” weekend, and although I had intended to write it before I left, it just didn’t happen.

When I got back I felt pressured to get down to work, but felt unfocused and distracted. When I was younger I would simply force myself to do things I really didn’t feel like doing. My method for writing term papers in college was to keep a bottle of wine next to the typewriter. The wine kept the anxiety at bay so that the words could come out on paper. Well, that’s just not an option anymore!

It’s not even a question of not wanting to do the work. I CHOOSE to write my newsletter. No one says I have to, or sets a due date, but me. Some people mistakenly conclude, by the way, that because they are anxious about something, or put something off, that they aren’t good at it or aren’t meant to do it. That’s not necessarily true.

How often are you confronted with something you want to do, or need to accomplish, but find it hard to stop, focus, and sit down to actually do it? If you work for yourself, and set your own schedule, this may come up quite often. Maybe you make these excuses to yourself:

• “I can’t create unless I have peace and quiet.” (You may live in a household where there is never peace and quiet, and so you find you never create anything.)

• “I have to get my work space organized before I can create.” (Does anyone remember the “anal-retentive” series of skits from Saturday Night Live years ago? I can picture the “Anal-Retentive Gardener” taking so much time to prepare and get his tools ready that he was never able to get to the actual gardening demonstrations he wanted to show.)

• “I’ll do these chores first, and then I’ll feel more like doing X.” (If you know this is your MO, you may label yourself a procrastinator which makes it even more difficult to proceed.)

We may keep ourselves in mental and physical motion because we don’t want to stop and be present with ourselves. (Those of us in recovery know how familiar it can be to “not be present.”) In my case, I could also have thoughts generated from the “inner critic” like: probably nobody wants to read my newsletter anyway. Who am I to think I have anything to say?

I’m not going to buy into that. And you don’t have to, either, for whatever you’re working on. Here’s a method, borrowed from creativity coach Eric Maisel, which will center you, clear your mind, and focus your intention, if you let it. It is a six-breath, six-thought, one-minute technique. Read these guidelines before starting:

• First, ground yourself, with both feet planted on the floor. Once you are familiar with the instructions you can shut your eyes.

• Take long, deep breaths. Breathe easily – not forcing – but deeply, letting your abdomen expand on the in-breath and contract on the out-breath. Try counting to five on the inhale, and five on the exhale to make sure the breath is full and unrushed.

• If you notice that you’re rushing, or letting stray thoughts in as you do the exercise, consciously center yourself and quiet your mind.

• The parentheses in the instructions below indicate how you will divide up each thought for the in-breath /out-breath. On the inhale think “half a thought” and on the exhale think “the second half of the thought.” For example, for the first thought in the sequence, you will breathe in for (“I am completely”) and breathe out for (“stopping”).

• Name the work you want to accomplish the moment you finish centering. There is power in naming your intention. Ask yourself, “What would I like to designate as my work this time?” It might be a concrete work you want to tackle, or a state you want to be in. This is the phrase you will insert in the blank parentheses of #3 below. For example:

(I am writing) (my newsletter)

(I am making) (that phone call)

(I am ready) (for the conversation)

READY? HERE’S THE CENTERING SEQUENCE:

1. (I am completely) (stopping)

2. (I expect) (nothing)

3. ( ) ( )

4. (I trust) (my resources)

5. (I embrace) (this moment)

6. (I return) (with strength)

Practice the sequence several times right now. (If you feel like putting it off, even though it will only take one minute, ask yourself why you’ve read this far but are unwilling to do the exercise.) Take your time, paying attention to the quality and length of your breaths. Notice how you feel when you’re done.

Whether you employ the Centering Sequence above, or use some other technique like mindfulness meditation or the Remembrance, the task of bringing yourself into the moment still remains.

In his book Coaching the Artist Within, Maisel reminds us that the process of creating requires a centered presence. If we are scattered, anxious, rushed, or uncentered, we squander our chance to create.

I think this applies as much to creating our full lives in recovery as it does to creating a book or a work of art, or a newsletter. Intention and being present, showing up for our lives, counts for a lot.

Martha Ruske is a marriage and family therapist in California. She currently works with people in long-term recovery from alcoholism, helping them step out into the fuller life they deserve. Find out about the benefits of recovery life coaching and get a free workbook at http://www.intentionalpath.com

Finding Out Your Life Purpose

By Jane Johnson

What is a Life Purpose or Calling?

Life purpose is a calling, overall theme for our life or intent that transcends our daily activities.
It is the quality we are here on earth to develop, the type of service we are here to render, the way we can enhance or improve some segment of the planet. It is much broader than one job or career; it pervades our entire life.
Marcia Bench states " People will tend to experience success and fulfilment in their life to the extent that they are clear about their life purpose". Are you clear? We will now examine some of the reasons to find your life purpose.

Benefits of Finding your Life Purpose
It will be compass to direct you in the right path

Life purpose allows you to decide which opportunities to take up and which to decline. It becomes like a compass that can help you assess your options. Without that you can be tempted to take up opportunities that may ultimately not lead to fulfilment.

With a Life Purpose you can make a significant contribution to mankind. Because you will be tuning into your gifting and passion you will be carrying out what you were designed to do on this earth. No one else can do what you were created to do and so mankind will be a better place if you live this out fully.

Living out your Life Purpose creates energy and passion Have you heard the expression, find a job you love and you will never do a days work in your life? Why is that? Because when you tap into your purpose and passion you are working in alignment with your unique gifting and as such you are not worn down by working in conflict with those.

Confidence grows when you know and walk in your Life Purpose There is a higher chance that you will achieve greater results when you work out your life purpose and as a result your confidence will grow.

It will bring greater health It stands to reason that when you are happy, fulfilled and working in your strengths you will naturally be less stressed and likely to have much greater health.

It brings meaning to life Without a purpose, goals can be meaningless. With a purpose our goals can be aligned and we can feel that they are worth our time and energy. With meaning in our lives,we can then have the motivation to overcome difficult times and build in resilience.

It allows us to have perspective on our lives.

Life Purpose Principles

1.Everyone has a Life Purpose- it is not for the elite few You were born with a unique DNA, and a distinctive way of expressing it. Everyone has a unique purpose. It is not just for those we deem as special or heroic.
You may have a number of ways of living out our life purpose, some will be longer lasting than others.

2.Society will pull you away from your life purpose
Often society will temp you to work for the wrong reasons that are not aligned with our purpose. By knowing your values you can make sure you are

How to Find your Life Purpose

1.You will find your life purpose when you find the crossover of your unique desires/gifting and a human need Life Purpose is not job specific. Ideally when you are able to integrate your personal life, family life, community and work environment into your life purpose that is when you will truly
be fulfilled.

2.Understand your values.
Your values are those things you are naturally inclined towards when your needs are fully met. They are more than “wants”; they represent what you are truly passionate about

3.Understand the blockages
Fear, Failure, Lack of Understanding, Thinking is it only for a few are a few of the blocks that can get in the way. Identifying what is our blockage can be the first step to seeking to overcome our weaknesses.

10 Vital Questions to Discover Your Life Purpose

1. What do you love to do whether in your spare time or at work?
2. What parts of your present job or life activities do you thoroughly enjoy?

3. What do you naturally do well?

4. What are your ten greatest successes to date?

5. Is their a cause that you feel passionate about?

6. What are the 10 most important lessons you have learned in life?

7. Are there some issues or perceived problems that have occurred over and over for you?

8. What do you daydream about doing?

9. What things do you want to be remembered for?

10. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Jane Johnson is a Certified Coach and founder of Aspect Coaching. She offers personal and business coaching to professional women in their 30’s and 40’s who want to develop their professional skills so they can move forward to the next level in their career or business women who are unfulfilled and want to find a career that they feel is their true path in life.

If you wish to receive our FREE ebook: "Getting More Done in Less Time" and also receive our FREE ezine, providing valuable information to help you dramatically increase your achievements in the workplace, click on:
http://www.aspectcoaching.com/Newsletter.html

Jane can be contacted at:
http://www.aspectcoaching.com/index.html

Register for a complimentary session:
http://www.aspectcoaching.com/Complimentary_Session.html

More About Motivation In The Legion

By John Watson

Since 1831, when it was founded, the French Foreign Legion has intrigued people all around the world. The heroism and endurance of the legionnaires has become a byword. Surely all of us can learn some powerful motivational lessons from these men. This article is based mainly on a recent conversation with one of them

A week or so after posting my article on 'Motivation In The Legion' on my website, I was honoured to receive an email from someone who has actually been a legionnaire. I was also pleased to find out that he liked the article.

I was even more pleased to discover that he was none other than Sgt. Glenn Ferguson who played a major role in the Channel 4 TV series about 12 volunteers who bravely or foolishly volunteered to undergo a month's basic training in the North African desert in the style suffered by the great majority of legionnaires.

We talked later on the phone for about an hour about the program and Sgt. Glenn Ferguson's own experiences both in the Legion and in the US army AIRBORNE Brigade Recon Team. I learned a lot about what motivates the Legion and the Legionnaires.

Sgt. Glenn Ferguson comes from Atlanta, Georgia in the USA but currently lives in France with his French wife and seven children. He is still only 37.

I asked him what had motivated him to join the Legion at the age of 19. He was not sure what to do at the time and was young and inexperienced (I think he said 'stupid')! He had heard the great stories of the Legion and had decided to go for it.

When I asked him what motivated him after he had joined the Legion, he replied instantly: 'Fear'. I imagine that was not fear of the enemy but fear of the savage methods used by the Legion to discipline the often rebellious foreigners who joined their ranks.

Higher ranks in the legion were allowed to beat up lower ranks who showed a bad attitude. Most other armies do not allow this. The higher ranks can also use some painful drills and punishments in order to make recruits ready to accept discipline.

Interestingly, Sgt. Glenn Ferguson noticed that the men who spent most time in military prison for having a rebellious and arrogant attitude were British. However,he pointed out that not all the Brits in the Legion were bad and that he served with some great individuals who he would go to war with any time.

One British member of the training staff was Corporal Richard Sutter who had been in the Legion from 1990 to 1995.

At one point in the program, a volunteer challenged the Corporal to do the drill he was demanding that they do. Although I am sure the Corporal could easily have done the drill, he refused and pointed out that he had already paid his dues.

Experienced legionnaires have already been through hell once. No one has the right to ask them to go through it again. Sgt. Glenn Ferguson totally supported Corporal Richard Sutter in this view.

Another factor that motivated Sgt. Glenn Ferguson in the Legion was the fact that he hated to fail. All elite groups have a huge pride in the standards they achieve. They do not want people who only have a half hearted attitude to join them. A key saying that the Sergeant sent me by email was:

"If you didn’t come to be the best then stay with the other losers."

Yesterday, I watched a trooper in the British Household cavalry being told off for a poor standard of turn out. At first glance, his gleaming uniform looked amazing but the officer was not willing to accept what he considered to be a standard which let down the British army.

The trooper put things right during the rest of the day by spending hours more working hard on polishing and cleaning.
Another of the Sergeant's sayings fits this kind of attitude.

"You're only as strong as your weakest link, so never lower the standard of the team."

Sgt. Glenn Ferguson made sure that the volunteers were motivated by pure fear to do their very best. He told them that if they did not motivate themselves, he would do the job himself.

However, his aim was still to produce self-discipline. One of his favourite sayings is:

"Discipline is doing the right thing not only when you are being watched. It is also doing the right thing when no one is watching."

At one point (and this was not shown in the TV program) Sgt. Glenn Ferguson got the volunteers out of their beds, blindfolded them, took them out into the desert and left them there to find their own way home!

This was not a punishment but a powerful lesson in self-sufficiency and building self-confidence. The Sergeant had already taught the volunteers the necessary skills to navigate their way home.

He was also keen to help the volunteers push their limits. Another of his sayings applies to this:

"If you never are shown that your limits can be pushed, you will never know how far you can really go."

The limits of the volunteers were certainly pushed hard both physically and mentally. The hot desert air makes every long march much, much tougher. Even when they were in the home fort, one volunteer removed part of his uniform to be cooler. He was forced to wear his entire wardrobe for hours to teach him not to repeat the offence.

Two volunteers were buried up to their heads in the sand to teach them discipline. The punishment looked severe but Sgt Glenn Ferguson explained that it was even more severe than it looked.

The volunteers were not standing in a deep hole up to their necks; they were made to sit cross legged in a sitting position in a shallower hole. This would have been far more painful. They were temporarily paralysed when they were pulled out of the hole. One is reminded of the rack in the middle ages!

In another incident, the volunteers had to march out into the desert without water. In today's world, this is unthinkable. Everyone carries a water bottle even in cool climates. But the Legion still has the attitudes of a different and far tougher world. To be fair, there were times when the volunteers were told by the medical staff that they must drink more water.

However, in this incident,the TV crew asked the Sergeant Chef Peter Hauser, to give the volunteers water or they would die. The Sergeant Chef gave a classic French Foreign Legion reply: "No water; let them die. We march."

The motivational methods of the French Foreign Legion may seem barbaric but they produced results. They created a highly disciplined army of men and they developed individuals who knew that they could achieve and suffer far more than they believed possible. They had had their limits pushed way beyond their expectations.

Sgt. Glenn Ferguson believes so much in pushing your limits that he even trains his alsatian to push his limits. He points out that most dogs sit in their gardens sniffing their behinds and eating bones. His alsatian, however, is trained to jump higher and higher until he can jump over a ten foot wall! Talk about high standards!

Since the TV program was made one of the volunteers has trained with the Sergeant at his home in France and now has plans to apply to join the SAS.

Several of the volunteers have gained confidence and self-belief and had their lives turned around. The TV program tended to focus on those who dropped out of the program rather than those who achieved great things.

Fear can be a great motivator. Pushing yourself way beyond your normal limits is a great motivator. Pride in belonging to an elite group of people who give 100% is also a great motivator.
Discipline motivates you to do what is right whether someone is watching you or not.

These are just some of the motivational lessons the Legion can teach us.

My thanks to Sergeant Glenn Ferguson for giving me an hour of his time to learn first hand about the kind of motivation that makes the French Foreign Legion a legend all around the world.

John Watson is an award winning teacher and fifth degree black belt martial arts instructor. He has recently written several books about achieving your goals and dreams.

They can be found on his website http://www.motivationtoday.com along with a motivational message and books by other authors

Ezine editors / Site owners

Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your site but please include the resource box above.

How An Introverted Recluse Became A Popular & Purposeful Public Speaker

By Brad Swift

The guidance I receive from my CEO is on a 'need to know basis.' So, today I was a bit surprised when I realized I wanted to share a before and after picture from my life; one that spans about 3 decades, taking us back to my early days in my own veterinary practice, long before Life On Purpose Institute, and even before I had any real sense of my own true life purpose.

At that time I was a pretty frightened young man, trying to figure out the secret to making a go of it with my veterinary practice. I spent an exorbitant amount of time in my back office, playing with my computer, and whatever accounting software I used at that time, trying to figure out why we were struggling so much financially.

What I didn't realize until later after hiring my first coach, Judy Billman, was that I was terrified of people, so all my attention was spent either with their pets when I was in the exam room, or hiding out in the back office. And if the truth be known, I still enjoy 'hiding out' from time to time. I would say by nature I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert except for one thing -- I feel I've been called to this planet to share the possibility of living on purpose with the rest of the world.

And this purpose allows me to tap into a wellspring of passion that provides me with fuel and propels me to reach beyond my comfort zone as an introvert and do such things as speak in public all around the country, especially to professional groups and to spiritual communities. And one of the biggest paradoxes of my purposeful life is that I love speaking in public ONCE I get over the trepidation I always feel at first.

But one thing that has always served me well during these times is something my karate sensei told me once before my first tournament. "It's ok, Brad, to have butterflies in your stomach. Your job now is to have them fly in formation." In other words, the nervous energy can be converted to a positive purpose.

©2005 Brad Swift of Life On Purpose Institute, Inc.
This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included.
PPE 01/01/05

Dr. Brad Swift founded Life On Purpose Institute in 1996 with the vision of creating a World On Purpose by assisting people like yourself to clarify their life purpose & live true to it. Determine how on or off purpose your life is with the fun & insightful Self Test at:
http://lifeonpurpose.com/_forms/self-test.php?source=ezart
Inspire yourself with a fr.ee subscription to Purposeful Pondering Ezine:
http://lifeonpurpose.com/index.php?dir=_ezines&task=view-ezines