Fear... Control It Before It Controls You!

By Kurt Hurley

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
-Author, Unknown

Fear… The most overrated concept known to man! Fear is not reality, but rather a perception of reality. Interesting how all of mankind suffers this ‘perceived’ condition. The truth is, although we all have our fears, each of us can and should overcome this ‘self-concept of an unknown reality, all it really takes is the proper mindset, determination and will power to surmount this ‘elusive’ machination known as FEAR!

We all know, everyone has some sort of fear and most probably, it was brought about by any one or more of the following reasons.

1) A traumatic past incident; like being bitten by a dog or falling of an elevated structure.

2) The negative influence of other people.

3) Negative ways of thinking or perceiving.

4) Speaking in public and not having it go so well.

Okay, so we all have something we fear… Are you willing to let fear take over your life? Will you forever remain a hostage to your fear?

I’m not so…

Like me, if you are truly interested in eradicating your personal demons, you must emphatically take the necessary steps to overcome whatever it is that disables you. It's all in the mind.

Do you envy other people that fearlessly take a ride on the ‘wild side’? Do you just hang back observing other people living life and creating success?

Personally, my suggestion is to face your fear head-on, don’t let fear be the boss of you. Imagine yourself enjoying the experience of exhilaration, the excitement of staring fear in the face and winning and not succumbing to the crippling effects of the would of’s, could of’s, and should of’s! That’s no way to ‘live’ your life.

So maybe you want to be a doctor, but you're afraid that you can’t academically or intellectually make the grade? Or perhaps you're worried about financial insecurity or destitution?

Well here's the good news. If you're really determined to achieve your deepest desires, a powerful force will enable you to reach them amidst every obstacle that gets in the way. Someone or something will always be there to help you attain your goals. Just have faith in your abilities, be patient, persist and be grateful for the lessons you learn and you will succeed. Your willpower, your earnest desire and belief have a paramount capacity to assist you in your ability to accomplish anything.

Marry visualization with that desire, that belief and that willpower and you are in route to defeating any kind of fear.

Try this… let’s say you’re afraid of heights. Close your eyes and imagine yourself being on top of a mountain, overseeing the magnificent sights, feel the breeze on your face, smell the clean, fresh air, the sun warming your cheek. Take it in, enjoy and experience the moment. Let it take away all your worries and anxieties. This is your life. Don’t be afraid.

As Nike suggests… “Just do it! Face it head on! Savor the event of facing your fear; what do you have to lose?

This applies to whatever that triggers your fear factor. Clearly see yourself defeating it, then confront it with the definite knowing that you have the capacity to do anything and everything you want if you just put your mind to it. Mind over matter!

Statistics have proven that those that have faced the thing they feared the most, never fear anything again in their life. Sounds good to me.

Kurt's website http://www.kreatefitness.com, as well as his Provo Utah Private Fitness Facility Synergy Fitness Systems, specializes in in providing leading edge exercise and nutrition programs and a super premium supplement line. All of these superior products offer superior results.

Stop!, and Name Your Intention

By Martha Ruske

I usually write two newsletters a month for my website, but recently I missed an issue. I had gone away on a “rustic retreat” weekend, and although I had intended to write it before I left, it just didn’t happen.

When I got back I felt pressured to get down to work, but felt unfocused and distracted. When I was younger I would simply force myself to do things I really didn’t feel like doing. My method for writing term papers in college was to keep a bottle of wine next to the typewriter. The wine kept the anxiety at bay so that the words could come out on paper. Well, that’s just not an option anymore!

It’s not even a question of not wanting to do the work. I CHOOSE to write my newsletter. No one says I have to, or sets a due date, but me. Some people mistakenly conclude, by the way, that because they are anxious about something, or put something off, that they aren’t good at it or aren’t meant to do it. That’s not necessarily true.

How often are you confronted with something you want to do, or need to accomplish, but find it hard to stop, focus, and sit down to actually do it? If you work for yourself, and set your own schedule, this may come up quite often. Maybe you make these excuses to yourself:

• “I can’t create unless I have peace and quiet.” (You may live in a household where there is never peace and quiet, and so you find you never create anything.)

• “I have to get my work space organized before I can create.” (Does anyone remember the “anal-retentive” series of skits from Saturday Night Live years ago? I can picture the “Anal-Retentive Gardener” taking so much time to prepare and get his tools ready that he was never able to get to the actual gardening demonstrations he wanted to show.)

• “I’ll do these chores first, and then I’ll feel more like doing X.” (If you know this is your MO, you may label yourself a procrastinator which makes it even more difficult to proceed.)

We may keep ourselves in mental and physical motion because we don’t want to stop and be present with ourselves. (Those of us in recovery know how familiar it can be to “not be present.”) In my case, I could also have thoughts generated from the “inner critic” like: probably nobody wants to read my newsletter anyway. Who am I to think I have anything to say?

I’m not going to buy into that. And you don’t have to, either, for whatever you’re working on. Here’s a method, borrowed from creativity coach Eric Maisel, which will center you, clear your mind, and focus your intention, if you let it. It is a six-breath, six-thought, one-minute technique. Read these guidelines before starting:

• First, ground yourself, with both feet planted on the floor. Once you are familiar with the instructions you can shut your eyes.

• Take long, deep breaths. Breathe easily – not forcing – but deeply, letting your abdomen expand on the in-breath and contract on the out-breath. Try counting to five on the inhale, and five on the exhale to make sure the breath is full and unrushed.

• If you notice that you’re rushing, or letting stray thoughts in as you do the exercise, consciously center yourself and quiet your mind.

• The parentheses in the instructions below indicate how you will divide up each thought for the in-breath /out-breath. On the inhale think “half a thought” and on the exhale think “the second half of the thought.” For example, for the first thought in the sequence, you will breathe in for (“I am completely”) and breathe out for (“stopping”).

• Name the work you want to accomplish the moment you finish centering. There is power in naming your intention. Ask yourself, “What would I like to designate as my work this time?” It might be a concrete work you want to tackle, or a state you want to be in. This is the phrase you will insert in the blank parentheses of #3 below. For example:

(I am writing) (my newsletter)

(I am making) (that phone call)

(I am ready) (for the conversation)

READY? HERE’S THE CENTERING SEQUENCE:

1. (I am completely) (stopping)

2. (I expect) (nothing)

3. ( ) ( )

4. (I trust) (my resources)

5. (I embrace) (this moment)

6. (I return) (with strength)

Practice the sequence several times right now. (If you feel like putting it off, even though it will only take one minute, ask yourself why you’ve read this far but are unwilling to do the exercise.) Take your time, paying attention to the quality and length of your breaths. Notice how you feel when you’re done.

Whether you employ the Centering Sequence above, or use some other technique like mindfulness meditation or the Remembrance, the task of bringing yourself into the moment still remains.

In his book Coaching the Artist Within, Maisel reminds us that the process of creating requires a centered presence. If we are scattered, anxious, rushed, or uncentered, we squander our chance to create.

I think this applies as much to creating our full lives in recovery as it does to creating a book or a work of art, or a newsletter. Intention and being present, showing up for our lives, counts for a lot.

Martha Ruske is a marriage and family therapist in California. She currently works with people in long-term recovery from alcoholism, helping them step out into the fuller life they deserve. Find out about the benefits of recovery life coaching and get a free workbook at http://www.intentionalpath.com

Finding Out Your Life Purpose

By Jane Johnson

What is a Life Purpose or Calling?

Life purpose is a calling, overall theme for our life or intent that transcends our daily activities.
It is the quality we are here on earth to develop, the type of service we are here to render, the way we can enhance or improve some segment of the planet. It is much broader than one job or career; it pervades our entire life.
Marcia Bench states " People will tend to experience success and fulfilment in their life to the extent that they are clear about their life purpose". Are you clear? We will now examine some of the reasons to find your life purpose.

Benefits of Finding your Life Purpose
It will be compass to direct you in the right path

Life purpose allows you to decide which opportunities to take up and which to decline. It becomes like a compass that can help you assess your options. Without that you can be tempted to take up opportunities that may ultimately not lead to fulfilment.

With a Life Purpose you can make a significant contribution to mankind. Because you will be tuning into your gifting and passion you will be carrying out what you were designed to do on this earth. No one else can do what you were created to do and so mankind will be a better place if you live this out fully.

Living out your Life Purpose creates energy and passion Have you heard the expression, find a job you love and you will never do a days work in your life? Why is that? Because when you tap into your purpose and passion you are working in alignment with your unique gifting and as such you are not worn down by working in conflict with those.

Confidence grows when you know and walk in your Life Purpose There is a higher chance that you will achieve greater results when you work out your life purpose and as a result your confidence will grow.

It will bring greater health It stands to reason that when you are happy, fulfilled and working in your strengths you will naturally be less stressed and likely to have much greater health.

It brings meaning to life Without a purpose, goals can be meaningless. With a purpose our goals can be aligned and we can feel that they are worth our time and energy. With meaning in our lives,we can then have the motivation to overcome difficult times and build in resilience.

It allows us to have perspective on our lives.

Life Purpose Principles

1.Everyone has a Life Purpose- it is not for the elite few You were born with a unique DNA, and a distinctive way of expressing it. Everyone has a unique purpose. It is not just for those we deem as special or heroic.
You may have a number of ways of living out our life purpose, some will be longer lasting than others.

2.Society will pull you away from your life purpose
Often society will temp you to work for the wrong reasons that are not aligned with our purpose. By knowing your values you can make sure you are

How to Find your Life Purpose

1.You will find your life purpose when you find the crossover of your unique desires/gifting and a human need Life Purpose is not job specific. Ideally when you are able to integrate your personal life, family life, community and work environment into your life purpose that is when you will truly
be fulfilled.

2.Understand your values.
Your values are those things you are naturally inclined towards when your needs are fully met. They are more than “wants”; they represent what you are truly passionate about

3.Understand the blockages
Fear, Failure, Lack of Understanding, Thinking is it only for a few are a few of the blocks that can get in the way. Identifying what is our blockage can be the first step to seeking to overcome our weaknesses.

10 Vital Questions to Discover Your Life Purpose

1. What do you love to do whether in your spare time or at work?
2. What parts of your present job or life activities do you thoroughly enjoy?

3. What do you naturally do well?

4. What are your ten greatest successes to date?

5. Is their a cause that you feel passionate about?

6. What are the 10 most important lessons you have learned in life?

7. Are there some issues or perceived problems that have occurred over and over for you?

8. What do you daydream about doing?

9. What things do you want to be remembered for?

10. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Jane Johnson is a Certified Coach and founder of Aspect Coaching. She offers personal and business coaching to professional women in their 30’s and 40’s who want to develop their professional skills so they can move forward to the next level in their career or business women who are unfulfilled and want to find a career that they feel is their true path in life.

If you wish to receive our FREE ebook: "Getting More Done in Less Time" and also receive our FREE ezine, providing valuable information to help you dramatically increase your achievements in the workplace, click on:
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More About Motivation In The Legion

By John Watson

Since 1831, when it was founded, the French Foreign Legion has intrigued people all around the world. The heroism and endurance of the legionnaires has become a byword. Surely all of us can learn some powerful motivational lessons from these men. This article is based mainly on a recent conversation with one of them

A week or so after posting my article on 'Motivation In The Legion' on my website, I was honoured to receive an email from someone who has actually been a legionnaire. I was also pleased to find out that he liked the article.

I was even more pleased to discover that he was none other than Sgt. Glenn Ferguson who played a major role in the Channel 4 TV series about 12 volunteers who bravely or foolishly volunteered to undergo a month's basic training in the North African desert in the style suffered by the great majority of legionnaires.

We talked later on the phone for about an hour about the program and Sgt. Glenn Ferguson's own experiences both in the Legion and in the US army AIRBORNE Brigade Recon Team. I learned a lot about what motivates the Legion and the Legionnaires.

Sgt. Glenn Ferguson comes from Atlanta, Georgia in the USA but currently lives in France with his French wife and seven children. He is still only 37.

I asked him what had motivated him to join the Legion at the age of 19. He was not sure what to do at the time and was young and inexperienced (I think he said 'stupid')! He had heard the great stories of the Legion and had decided to go for it.

When I asked him what motivated him after he had joined the Legion, he replied instantly: 'Fear'. I imagine that was not fear of the enemy but fear of the savage methods used by the Legion to discipline the often rebellious foreigners who joined their ranks.

Higher ranks in the legion were allowed to beat up lower ranks who showed a bad attitude. Most other armies do not allow this. The higher ranks can also use some painful drills and punishments in order to make recruits ready to accept discipline.

Interestingly, Sgt. Glenn Ferguson noticed that the men who spent most time in military prison for having a rebellious and arrogant attitude were British. However,he pointed out that not all the Brits in the Legion were bad and that he served with some great individuals who he would go to war with any time.

One British member of the training staff was Corporal Richard Sutter who had been in the Legion from 1990 to 1995.

At one point in the program, a volunteer challenged the Corporal to do the drill he was demanding that they do. Although I am sure the Corporal could easily have done the drill, he refused and pointed out that he had already paid his dues.

Experienced legionnaires have already been through hell once. No one has the right to ask them to go through it again. Sgt. Glenn Ferguson totally supported Corporal Richard Sutter in this view.

Another factor that motivated Sgt. Glenn Ferguson in the Legion was the fact that he hated to fail. All elite groups have a huge pride in the standards they achieve. They do not want people who only have a half hearted attitude to join them. A key saying that the Sergeant sent me by email was:

"If you didn’t come to be the best then stay with the other losers."

Yesterday, I watched a trooper in the British Household cavalry being told off for a poor standard of turn out. At first glance, his gleaming uniform looked amazing but the officer was not willing to accept what he considered to be a standard which let down the British army.

The trooper put things right during the rest of the day by spending hours more working hard on polishing and cleaning.
Another of the Sergeant's sayings fits this kind of attitude.

"You're only as strong as your weakest link, so never lower the standard of the team."

Sgt. Glenn Ferguson made sure that the volunteers were motivated by pure fear to do their very best. He told them that if they did not motivate themselves, he would do the job himself.

However, his aim was still to produce self-discipline. One of his favourite sayings is:

"Discipline is doing the right thing not only when you are being watched. It is also doing the right thing when no one is watching."

At one point (and this was not shown in the TV program) Sgt. Glenn Ferguson got the volunteers out of their beds, blindfolded them, took them out into the desert and left them there to find their own way home!

This was not a punishment but a powerful lesson in self-sufficiency and building self-confidence. The Sergeant had already taught the volunteers the necessary skills to navigate their way home.

He was also keen to help the volunteers push their limits. Another of his sayings applies to this:

"If you never are shown that your limits can be pushed, you will never know how far you can really go."

The limits of the volunteers were certainly pushed hard both physically and mentally. The hot desert air makes every long march much, much tougher. Even when they were in the home fort, one volunteer removed part of his uniform to be cooler. He was forced to wear his entire wardrobe for hours to teach him not to repeat the offence.

Two volunteers were buried up to their heads in the sand to teach them discipline. The punishment looked severe but Sgt Glenn Ferguson explained that it was even more severe than it looked.

The volunteers were not standing in a deep hole up to their necks; they were made to sit cross legged in a sitting position in a shallower hole. This would have been far more painful. They were temporarily paralysed when they were pulled out of the hole. One is reminded of the rack in the middle ages!

In another incident, the volunteers had to march out into the desert without water. In today's world, this is unthinkable. Everyone carries a water bottle even in cool climates. But the Legion still has the attitudes of a different and far tougher world. To be fair, there were times when the volunteers were told by the medical staff that they must drink more water.

However, in this incident,the TV crew asked the Sergeant Chef Peter Hauser, to give the volunteers water or they would die. The Sergeant Chef gave a classic French Foreign Legion reply: "No water; let them die. We march."

The motivational methods of the French Foreign Legion may seem barbaric but they produced results. They created a highly disciplined army of men and they developed individuals who knew that they could achieve and suffer far more than they believed possible. They had had their limits pushed way beyond their expectations.

Sgt. Glenn Ferguson believes so much in pushing your limits that he even trains his alsatian to push his limits. He points out that most dogs sit in their gardens sniffing their behinds and eating bones. His alsatian, however, is trained to jump higher and higher until he can jump over a ten foot wall! Talk about high standards!

Since the TV program was made one of the volunteers has trained with the Sergeant at his home in France and now has plans to apply to join the SAS.

Several of the volunteers have gained confidence and self-belief and had their lives turned around. The TV program tended to focus on those who dropped out of the program rather than those who achieved great things.

Fear can be a great motivator. Pushing yourself way beyond your normal limits is a great motivator. Pride in belonging to an elite group of people who give 100% is also a great motivator.
Discipline motivates you to do what is right whether someone is watching you or not.

These are just some of the motivational lessons the Legion can teach us.

My thanks to Sergeant Glenn Ferguson for giving me an hour of his time to learn first hand about the kind of motivation that makes the French Foreign Legion a legend all around the world.

John Watson is an award winning teacher and fifth degree black belt martial arts instructor. He has recently written several books about achieving your goals and dreams.

They can be found on his website http://www.motivationtoday.com along with a motivational message and books by other authors

Ezine editors / Site owners

Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your site but please include the resource box above.

How An Introverted Recluse Became A Popular & Purposeful Public Speaker

By Brad Swift

The guidance I receive from my CEO is on a 'need to know basis.' So, today I was a bit surprised when I realized I wanted to share a before and after picture from my life; one that spans about 3 decades, taking us back to my early days in my own veterinary practice, long before Life On Purpose Institute, and even before I had any real sense of my own true life purpose.

At that time I was a pretty frightened young man, trying to figure out the secret to making a go of it with my veterinary practice. I spent an exorbitant amount of time in my back office, playing with my computer, and whatever accounting software I used at that time, trying to figure out why we were struggling so much financially.

What I didn't realize until later after hiring my first coach, Judy Billman, was that I was terrified of people, so all my attention was spent either with their pets when I was in the exam room, or hiding out in the back office. And if the truth be known, I still enjoy 'hiding out' from time to time. I would say by nature I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert except for one thing -- I feel I've been called to this planet to share the possibility of living on purpose with the rest of the world.

And this purpose allows me to tap into a wellspring of passion that provides me with fuel and propels me to reach beyond my comfort zone as an introvert and do such things as speak in public all around the country, especially to professional groups and to spiritual communities. And one of the biggest paradoxes of my purposeful life is that I love speaking in public ONCE I get over the trepidation I always feel at first.

But one thing that has always served me well during these times is something my karate sensei told me once before my first tournament. "It's ok, Brad, to have butterflies in your stomach. Your job now is to have them fly in formation." In other words, the nervous energy can be converted to a positive purpose.

©2005 Brad Swift of Life On Purpose Institute, Inc.
This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included.
PPE 01/01/05

Dr. Brad Swift founded Life On Purpose Institute in 1996 with the vision of creating a World On Purpose by assisting people like yourself to clarify their life purpose & live true to it. Determine how on or off purpose your life is with the fun & insightful Self Test at:
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The Greatest Secret To Producing Real SOLID Excellence!

By Justin Koh

One fact stubbornly stays true: while everyone desires to succeed, only those who truly COMMIT to their dreams would be able to attain success. For most people, having MORE money, MORE freedom and MORE success is nothing but a feeble desire. The reality is that they can live without it even though it is great to have it. As a result, they never (and never need to) take enough massive action to achieve their dreams when something else more 'important', 'urgent', 'realistic' or 'down-to-earth' comes to fill up their time.

Realize that you have a choice to make every single day but somehow the lesser choice almost always ranks as FIRST priority!

I cannot help but stress how important the word COMMITMENT is. When you commit to something, you would do whatever it takes to achieve it, no matter how difficult the situation is.

When you COMMIT to something, your dream becomes a MUST. When a dream becomes a MUST...You operate from a different mindset. People who truly achieve their dreams make them an absolute MUST to do so. When something becomes an absolute MUST, you would do whatever it takes to get it (within ethical and moral means). Making them a MUST also taps into your potential and unlimited resources to achieve anything you want!

Ask yourself: are your dreams and goals an absolute must or just weak desires that you can live without?

Almost everything you had ever achieved in the past—believe it or not—was an absolutely MUST. If not, you wouldn't have achieved anything till now. The problem is most of us tend to live a mediocre life based on survival and necessity, and living an exceptional life is not a MUST so long as we never make it a point NOW. The only way to achieve your dreams and live an exceptional life is when you raise your 'level of acceptance'.

You may set a dream to earn $10,000 from Internet Marketing but if you are willing to accept $2,000, then $2,000 is what you are going to get because $2,000 is your level of acceptance. Your level of acceptance is $2,000 and the moment it goes below your acceptance level, your mind hits panic mode and you would do whatever it takes to earn $2,000 again.

Raising your level of acceptance requires that you get 'dissatisfied' and 'inspired' and one of the best ways to do it is to read about or mix around with people who are much better than you. So if you are earning $2,000, kindly mix around with people who are earning X times as much as you. You are simply taking advantage of a particular environment by planting yourself in it.

When you are not mixing around with successful people and you are all by yourself, here's the great secret you can apply to produce better and greater results at all times: get 'dissatisfied' and 'inspired' by putting yourself ON THE LINE! In other words, put yourself in a situation where you have absolutely no choice but to step up to the next level.

How to put yourself on the line? Make a public declaration of your dreams and establish a commitment so that it will hurt not to do it.

When the brain is given a choice to do something or put it off, it will always gravitate towards the easier path. But when you have no choice but to do it, the inherent power of a commitment and a declaration will always help you find a way!

Do the following exercises:

1) Write down 5 goals that you MUST achieve.

2) Define your current levels of acceptance and redefine new levels for these 5 goals.

3) For these 5 goals, write at least 2 ways you can put yourself on the line for each of them.

4) Take massive action and DO IT!

Remember, in whatever you are doing, be it writing, creating a site, presenting, promoting, selling, forging new relationships etc., put in the x-factor that is Commitment in all your intentions, and all your actions will be executed at a new and higher level in one way or another. Be committed to do whatever it takes, and you will most likely get it.

Gifts Download: http://www.internetmasterycenter.com/freeload.html

Justin Koh & Nelson Tan are the architects behind Internet Mastery Center (http://www.internetmasterycenter.com) and Fresh Resources (http://www.freshresources.com).

This article is free for reprint in your website, e-mails and other mediums with permission by default. The signature must be included. If it is for a profitable purpose e.g. content for a paid e-book, you must notify us.

Action Rules - Just Get Started!

By Al Smith

'Action Rules!' in the Getting Goals Game. It is the number one most important step to achieving your greatness.

Having second thoughts? Trouble getting started? Stalled on a plateau? Spinning your wheels trying to get going again?

Just get Started. Goal Setting and Planning is necessary, but 'Action Rules' when it comes to getting what you want. Like Nike says, 'Just Do It!'

Taking action, any action is the important step. As long as you are moving, you can use the momentum to take more action. The saying that you can't steer a parked car is right on. You must get your vehicle moving before you can
steer it.

You can even change vehicles to get to where you want to go, but you must start movement in the beginning. You can even change the direction, (your destination), but getting started is all important.

No action is too small to start with. In fact the smaller the better, because it is sometimes easier to believe in doing little things, then you can move up incrementally to larger steps when you gain momentum and confidence.

Remember the things you get will not make you happy, it is the challenge and the accomplishment of the things that create happiness. Too many people achieve to be happy, rather than happily achieve. The joy is in the journey, not the journey's end.

Start moving towards your dream.

Get off that couch, turn off that TV, stop daydreaming about what you would like to be or do, and start with some action that will take you in the direction that you want to go.

Maybe you have been able to fulfill most of what you want to do. Is there still something in your life that you have got to do but are feeling stuck, and just haven't been able to get it?? Well if you still want to try, then, this is the place to get unstuck!

'Don't know where to go or what to do?' Decide for now that you do know, pick that thing that keeps coming into your mind, but you brush it away when your self talk keeps telling you; 'I couldn't possibly do that.'

Do it! You can change your mind later, if need be. Just get rolling! Get started! You can do it! Be courageous! You will find that in starting anything worthwhile, you will feel some reluctance to believe that you can do it. You will sometimes feel the force of inertia.

Most of us have felt this. Just remember that many people who have achieved greatness, felt that same emotion at times.

They just refused to believe that they couldn't do it, and
went ahead on faith that it would work out. Move forward.

The reason for doing something is far more important in motivating you than the thing itself, so pump up the urgency by focusing on your outcome and how it will feel when you
achieve it, instead of whether you can or cannot do it.

Because you can at least get it started! Take the first step into the rest of your life. Isn't it awesome? The journey is where the 'juice' is.

So, get started now. Just begin! Remember 'ACTION RULES!'

Al Smith, Copyright 2005

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Al Smith writes for and publishes The Realgoalgetter Ezine. His articles deal mostly with goal setting, self improvement, motivation, and overall health and fitness. Stop by The Realgoalgetter Website and subscribe to The Realgoalgetter Ezine at
http://www.realgoalgetter.com/ezines/index.html.

Nothing More Than Feelings

By Judy Ringer

"How are you Inventing Your Life Today?" – the lead story from my last issue of Power & Presence – drew comments from several readers. Most of the comments went something like: "I wish I could have the degree of control over my life that you apparently do."

I want to say, I wish I had the degree of control over my life that it apparently looks like I have.

Earlier this summer, several of my 20-something neighbors who live in the apartments next door had a long and lively conversation in their back yard, which lies just beneath our bedroom window – wide open on this particular warmish night. The conversation included beverages of one type or another (I hazarded some guesses), the containers for which, when drained, got thrown (loudly) into a recycle container. These antics took place between 2:30 and 3:30 A.M.

I debated for a while whether I should get up, dress, go next door, and have a conversation of my own. After tossing and turning for about 15 minutes, I decided to communicate through my open window. I got up, and – I believe in a fairly centered way – called out: "Quiet, please." They heard me, I think, since their voices quieted a bit. And while the cans continued to go into the recycles, they did so with perhaps a bit less energy.

But the damage was done, the horse out of the barn. What were my chances of getting back to sleep? I tossed and turned for another half-hour but couldn't find my way back. I got up, walked the house, muttered oaths to myself, and finally began to notice light dawning and birds chirping around 4:45. I lay down again and dozed intermittently between 5 and 8, and eventually got out of bed to face the day, tired, depleted, and still angry.

I remembered my story about "Inventing Your Life," and its theme about the meta-communicator being the padding between my feelings and me. There wasn't much padding after a sleepless night. I talked to my husband. I honored my feelings. I even appreciated my neighbors' cluelessness. I mean they're young adults having a summer outdoor party. Okay, it IS the middle of the night, but I may have done similar stuff at that age. But in spite of my best efforts at reclaiming equanimity, I mostly gave myself a pretty hard time about the fact that I'd written that story. Here I was having FEELINGS. I can help others better manage their emotions, so why couldn't I manage my own? Why couldn't I make them go away?

I re-read my story. It helped. I didn't say I wasn't supposed to HAVE feelings, I said I was supposed to be able to be aware enough to notice them and ride their waves. I said I wanted to make behavior choices based on my better instincts instead of acting out the emotion in unconstructive ways. I guessed that I had done that with my partying neighbors. I hadn't been mean-spirited or behaved reactively.

"Beyond That"
Then I understood that I wasn't upset with my neighbors any more; I was mad at myself for having such strong feelings. Like somehow I was supposed to be "beyond that." Because I teach and write about centering, I should be above these tiresome emotions.

In those moments of upset, I comprehended experientially that centering doesn't take emotions away. On the mat of life, as in aikido, the attack will come. It may come from the outside (my noisy neighbors) or the inside (strong feelings). How will I manage the energy? Will I freeze, fight, fall over, or move in toward the energy and use it wisely? I can be centered and upset. I hope, in fact, I am centered when I'm upset. When I'm centered I will hold the emotional energy differently.

In time, as they always do, the feelings died down and transformed, much like the thunderstorm that also passed through that night. By afternoon I was on the actual aikido mat and back to feelings I enjoy having in my body. "Inventing Your Life" is pretty accurate. The option to have or not have feelings is not under my control (at least not yet). The ones I had that night and early morning were not pleasant or wanted, and I could not MAKE them go away. All I could do was sit with them, watch them move through body, mind, and spirit, talk about them to caring friends, and care for myself while I was having them.

Soon I will be laughing about that night. (I already am.)

And soon I will have a longer conversation with my neighbors – in the daylight, when we're all centered, open to dialogue, and able to talk about how we want to live next door to one another.

Center does not equal an absence of emotion. Center equals presence with emotion. I am not a bad person because I have strong feelings. Feelings just are; they can in fact control us, or with some watching, waiting and positive intention, we can engage and direct their energy with awareness and purpose.

© 2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training

About the Author: Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a more positive work environment. Judy is also a black belt in aikido, and is writing her first book on the connection between aikido, conflict, and living a more purposeful life. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit http://www.JudyRinger.com

Note: You’re welcome to reprint this article as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the ‘about the author’ info at the end).

Wisdom Comes to the Inquisitive Mind

By Willie Jones

Throughout my life I have observed many things and I am often amazed (but shouldn’t be) at how Wisdom is demonstrated in all ages. It is not reserved just for the elders. Although I think most people as they get older often seem to get a little more psychic or more in tuned to life and are not easily fooled.

I personally feel like I didn’t really understand life that much until I was about 40 years old. It is an odd sensation when you wake up one day and find 5 or 10 years have gone by and you suddenly realize that all this time has passed and not much has changed. You are still at the same job, same problems at home or work and you start to wonder, “what has been accomplished in all this time”. Have goals been met? Are you in the same rut? These are important questions to ask yourself because your future depends on being honest with yourself.

Children are absolutely wonderful because they are so inquisitive and ask a million questions and that is as it should be. After all, how does one learn if you don’t ask? Children ask why, why, why! They want to know. If you deny them knowledge then their lives are stifled and they really don’t have much chance for success in life. The more knowledge they have the more they will be able to deal with life’s problems. You are doing a disservice to a child if you do not answer their questions honestly. All through their lives growing up they will have questions and education is the answer and I am not just talking about school. They will ask you as parents, questions. They will ask friends even strangers in their quest for knowledge. “How do you…. what about…is this really true…” They need to know! Just tell them everything they want to know honestly because what they learn early in life will define them later in life.

Young children have, it seems, this amazing perception about people. They are constantly observing because that is what a child does. It is survival for them to observe life around them because they need this data to for their future life. Children closely scrutinize even the simplest things like table manners, and they will mimic you! So set the right example at all times if you can because believe me, they are watching you!

If you are an adult and you realize that you have been asleep for most of your life and you wake up one day and think, oh my God, what have I been doing all these years? Take heart. It is definitely not to late no matter how old you are! That’s the beauty of life; you are never too old to change things. How do you go about this? It goes back to education, and I don’t just mean school. We are always learning through out our lives and our life’s experience can teach us much. Look at what worked for you and do more of the same. What did not work for you, discard. You do not need to do more of the same if it did not work for you.

From the time you are born, life is a learning adventure and the more you know and the more data you can collect, the more successful you can be in life. After all, knowledge is power. Don’t you think?

Willie Jones

Willie is a freelance writer, researcher, floral designer, and artist. Thanks very much for reading this far. Please come and visit us at: http://www.artinspires.com/ for an inspirational poster or two

“Make sure you enroll in the free motivational poster drawing. All winners receive a free framed print.”

Face Your Fears

By Jim Donovan

Yes, that's me up there! Interestingly enough, I used to be deathly afraid of heights. I'm not suggesting para sailing is the best way to overcome a fear of heights but it worked for me. Sometimes, the only way through a fear is to meet it head on. That's what I did in this case.

My wife, Georgia, and I were vacationing on Marco Island, Florida several years ago and I was sitting on the beach watching people flying in parachutes over the water. I thought to myself, "That looks like a lot of fun." Then, the little voice inside reminded me that I had a lifelong fear of unsecured heights. Sure, I was fine in airplanes but to hang out in a parachute was more than I could imagine.

After a few days of anxiously watching people having fun I decided to face one of my worst fears. I walked over to the man at the rental booth and asked him if it was safe to do this. Dumb question. Like he was going to say no:-) He said, "It's so safe we have young children doing it and I even have an 80 year old woman who comes every few weeks to do it. What a closer:-) Now, what am I supposed to say? That this big macho guy is too scared to do it? No way! I said sure and paid the man.

I will admit that I was frightened half to death when I got up there. I figured since I was a good swimmer I would not worry. Once I saw how high I was going, I realized it did not matter. If I fell, I would splatter - good swimmer or not.

After a while, I loosened my painfully tight grip on the parachute lines and actually began to enjoy the ride. What a sight from several hundred feet above the island. By the time I got back down, I had next to no fear of high places.

Sometimes we just have to look our fears right in the eye and do it anyway.

© 2004 Jim Donovan — PO Box 1147, Buckingham, PA 18912 — (215) 794-3826

Jim Donovan is the author of "Handbook to a Happier Life, a motivational speaker and coach. For a no cost bonus product & more, visit http://www.JimDonovan.com

If you had all the information and tools you needed to live your dream life, would you use them? Yes?
Click here ==> http://www.jimdonovan.com/ebookoffer.html

Motivation: The Cure for Complacency

By Jeff Herring

Q. I've always tried to work hard enough to provide for my family and be content. The problem is, when I'm content, I get complacent, and everything starts to fall apart. How do I keep going and avoid getting complacent?

A. There's nothing wrong with feeling content. It's something that we all strive for in life.

The problem comes, as you have so well stated, when we drift from contentment into complacency. Let me give you an example of the results of complacency, and then how to overcome it.

I recently heard Clay Shiver, former FSU All-American center and former center for the NFL Dallas Cowboys, speak about complacency.

When he got to the NFL, Shiver, who played center, was the only starter on the offense who wasn't an All-Pro player. The team also had won three out of the last four Super Bowls.

The year he started, the Cowboys posted a record of 6 wins and 10 losses. Shiver said he thought the reason for such a bad season was that the team had gotten complacent, had lost its hunger. He remembered being in the huddle where two All-Pro Super Bowl champions talked about how they couldn't wait until the season was over so they could go on a fancy trip. They lost the next five games.

That's the best example of complacency I think I could offer you.

I can sum up the cure in just one word. Ready?

Ants.

That's right, a-n-t-s, ants. One of the benefits of having kids is you get to watch their favorite videos hundreds of times. In the movie "Bug's Life" the ants teach us at least five strategies for dealing with complacency.

1. Ants never, ever give up

Put something in front of them, and they will get around it, over it, under it or through it. If one way doesn't work, they will try another. If that way does not work, they will try still another way. And so on until they find a way around the obstacle.

There's nothing wrong with feeling content. It's something that we all strive for in life.

2. Ants are always getting ready for what's next

They don't ever rest on their laurels. In the summer, they are thinking about the winter and getting ready for it.

3. Ants are creatively industrious and resourceful

Ants don't complain about not having the right tools to do what needs to be done. They take what is available right in front of them and find a way to make it work.

4. Ants are always hopeful

In the winter, when they are holed up in their little ant mound, they are using what they stored up all summer and know that as cold as it is, summer is coming, and they are getting ready for it.

5. Ants don't seem to believe in the concept of enough

They store up all that they can for the winter. You have seen the acronym on restaurant signs AYCE. I used to think that must be some kind of special brand of food. It took me forever to figure out that it stands for All You Can Eat.

Instead of focusing on All You Can Eat, I think we would do better to focus on what the ants do, AYCD, which stands for All You Can Do.

If you constantly follow these five tips, you will consistently beat complacency. Think of it as being content and always hungry to make things better.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Three Simple Ways to Stay Focused

By Jim Capobianco

While I was trying to find a subject to write about this month that would be of interest to my readers, I did many things with my computer.

I stared at a blank computer screen. I played solitaire. I checked my email several times an hour. I played solitaire. I re-worked some of my existing web pages. I played solitaire. I joined online business organizations. I played solitaire. I read ebooks (new ones I just downloaded and some I downloaded a while ago and never got to read). I played...

Do you see a thread emerging here? Besides that I like to play solitaire.

I lost my FOCUS! I was doing what I found to be easier than the task at hand. Which was getting out this month's issue of my newsletter.

This is easy to do when you don't have a BOSS telling you what to do. You must have the DISCIPLINE to be on your own and to take charge of your own situation.

Remember, you sign your own paycheck!

When evaluating whether you have what it takes to start your own business, some questions that always come up are:

"Are you a self starter?"
"Can you work on your own?"
"Are you willing to make sacrifices?"

Even though what I was doing with my computer were constructive (OK, except for the solitaire). I had lost track of my priorities. It was time to publish my monthly newsletter and I was doing other things instead.

It was easy to make excuses for not focusing on this month's issue. Writer's block, other things on my mind, email must be read, and so on.

As a self-employed individual, you have to shake yourself back into reality. It is so easy to get distracted. You have to tell yourself:

"Hey it is time to get back to work. Let's get your priorities in order!"

This is when you need FOCUS and DISCIPLINE.

It is so easy to take the path of least resistance; but doing good work is hard and requires dedication.

Downloading and reading emails or ebooks (and playing solitaire) is a lot easier than putting together a newsletter.

So let's talk a little about FOCUS and DISCIPLINE and how to prioritized your tasks.

I wrote an article recently on "Time Management".

In the article I talk about how difficult it is to manage your time in a home based business and how important good time management can be to the success of your business.

The article ends with the statement of how important "Focus and Discipline" are to someone who is self-employed.

Not only do you have to manage your time; but you have to use that time wisely. All the time in the world is no good to you if you waste it.

Time management, focus and discipline are skills you must develop if you are going to be your own boss. These are skills you have to learn just like marketing, the computer or copy writing.

Once learned, these skills must be practiced and developed.

As a Small Business Coach, I don't always practice what I preach. In my ebook "10 STEPS TO YOUR OWN HOME-BASED BUSINESS", I devote a whole chapter to FOCUS and DISCIPLINE. It is that important.

I have been doing this for over 30 years and I still have problems with FOCUS and DISCIPLINE.

I must constantly remind myself of my priorities and what has to be done and when.

So how do I deal with FOCUS and DISCIPLINE?

I play solitaire... just kidding.

Here are several ways to bring back your FOCUS and DISCIPLINE.

Some or all of them may work for you:

Make Lists

I find tasks easier to "focus" on and more manageable when I organize them in writing. It makes me feel more in control.

You can do this is several ways:

1. Post-it Notes.
2. 3x5 Index cards.
3. Dry-Erase boards.

I am a great one for the "dry-erase" board because of their ease of use and multi-color markers. I have them all over the house and my home office.

Here are just a few uses I find for them:

1. To-Do lists. I get a feeling of accomplishment as I check them off.

2. I jot down ideas for future projects. While surfing the net or reading an ezine or ebook, I may get an idea I don't want to forget.

3. Flow charts for Web page links. Because of the marker colors available, they are great for laying out a web site and can easily be changed.

4. I have one that is a blank calendar month. I keep track of up-coming events and important due dates.

5. They are great for presentations to clients or to map out a course of action for yourself.

I am sure there are 100s of uses you can come up with that I haven't thought of.

They come in all different sizes, are quite inexpensive and are carried by most office supply stores.

I also make extensive use of the Post-it Note and the 3x5 Index card. Here I also make use of the various colors they come in for different purposes.

I love to be "organized". It makes my job so much more enjoyable and doable. But that's a subject for another article.

Take A Break

If I am working on a project and hit a "brick wall", I stop and maybe I'll play a little solitaire. :o)

Whatever?

Sometimes you just need to step away for awhile and regroup. I always have more than one project going at a time so if I need a break, I can switch gears and still be productive.

Sometimes though, I just take a walk and come back later or another day and I find that the obstacle is no longer there and I am able to complete my task.

For some reason, frustration just makes the "brick wall" thicker and a little break brings things back into focus.

Scrap The Whole Idea

I know this may sound funny; but sometimes, as you work on a project, you come to realize it wasn't such a good idea in the first place and rather than "beating a dead horse" your best course of action is to cut your losses and move on to something else.

Don't let this plan of action or lack of action discourage you. Many of the most prolific inventors, including Thomas Alva Edison, abandoned many attempts in favor of a new direction before they found the solution to their problem.

Sometimes trial and error, although at times costly, can be the best teacher.

These are just some simple things you can do when you lose your FOCUS and DISCIPLINE.

Remember, if you don't love what you do, your going to be frustrated and miserable...

...and not very successful!

About the Author ---- Jim Capobianco, the author of "10 Steps to Your Own Home-Based Business", has been self-employed for over 25 years, both on and off line. At his web site, Cap-Tech.com and in his newsletter, The Cap-Tech Times, he shares his experience and expertise when it comes to owning your own business. Come pay a visit at: http://www.cap-tech.com

Discover How to Stay Motivated and Be Successful

By Emily Clark

If you surveyed 50 people asking each their definition of success, chances are you would receive fifty different answers. Even so, there are certain steps everyone must follow in order to be successful. One of the most important is - staying motivated.

Do you have a new job? Have you started your own business? Are you in the process of earning a degree? Do you have the desire to lose weight? If one of these scenarios are a recent event in your life, you are probably still excited about the opportunity. That also probably means you are motivated, as well. Excitement and motivation, often, work hand in hand.

But, how do you stay motivated after several weeks or months have gone by? How do you maintain the same level of excitement that you had when you began your new adventure?

There are many things you can do to stay motivated. It is important to set aside a few minutes or more, each day, in an effort to keep your motivation level at its highest. There will be days that you may feel less motivated then usual. Let's face it; we all have a bad day now and then. So, by doing all that you can to maintain a positive attitude, your "down days" will probably be few and far between.

Read a book. There are hundreds of books that have been written on the topic of motivation. Visit your local bookstore or library and browse the shelves. Ask the clerk or librarian for author and title recommendations. Both will be happy to help you.

If you have a busy schedule, don't despair. Set aside 15 or 20 minutes each day. Even if you only read a few pages, during that time, it WILL help to keep you motivated. I do it and can attest to the fact that it really DOES work!

If you are in the process of achieving a goal such as weight loss or top salesperson, make a "dream board". A dream board is a poster, of sorts. If a trimmer figure is your goal, cut out pictures of the new wardrobe you will someday buy.

If you dream of out-selling your peers, find pictures of your dream home or vacation destination... of the new car you would LOVE to drive. Make a collage with these pictures and hand it somewhere where you will see it each day.

There are many other things you can do to stay motivated. Believe in yourself. Stay healthy. Maintain a positive attitude.

You will be amazed at what you can achieve!

The information contained in this article is for educational purposes only and is not intended to medically diagnose, treat or cure any disease. Consult a health care practitioner before beginning any health care program.

Emily Clark is editor at Lifestyle Health News and Medical Health News where you can find the most up-to-date advice and information on many medical, health and lifestyle topics.

Be Action-Oriented

By Edmund Loh

Are you a melancholic online business owner by nature? I have something to tell you.

In case you do not know what melancholy is, a melancholic person is someone who has a very detailed attitude. He or she is very aware of his or her surroundings, usually is good with words, and often good planners and strategists. Seeking details is probably their second nature.

I like everything about melancholic people except for one thing – they usually lack the initiative to take action. Very often, they are phlegmatic by nature and this, my friend, can be their greatest weakness.

How often have you met people who have told you a lot of their plans – about what they wanted to do in life and in the near future – but never happened? Are you one of them?

You probably had friends who told you about their great plans and being a great melancholy, their plans are usually very detailed. Ironically, when time passes, their plan never materialized. More often that not, the excuse lies behind their lack of will to take action.

This happens almost everyday. You will also find that this is a very great challenge to all who are looking to start their own Online Business where putting in sweat equity is concerned.

So, plan a little. We all still need to plan to succeed. You do not have to be very detailed, though. You might cringe at this fact but the logic is, very detailed plans make it sound as if it is “too much work”. Now, are you no longer surprise why most people lack the will to take action?

If you do not believe me, here is an analogy I would like you to compare.

[1] I plan to go to town. I will take buses No. 6 and 24 to reach there. I will probably reach town in an hour.

[2] I plan to go to town. I will walk out of the house, turn left, turn right, go straight, wait at the bus stop, climb up Bus No. 6, pay the fare, take a seat, stop at the bus terminal, walk down the platform, climb up Bus No. 24, pay the fare, take a seat, wait, and stop at the City Square.

Of the two plans, which one sounds like “too much work”? The two plans still lead to the same destination. If a friend in your neighborhood asks you for direction to town, which of the above two plans will you tell him?

I believe you get my point by now. On the same token, plan on what you need to do. Be precise and concise. Some extra details in your plan can be included but make sure they are useful. Your plans do not need spare parts just as your DIY tools do not need any. More “spare parts” in your plan is going to weigh a lot on your desire to take action.

Sometimes to succeed in Online Business, you have to be a little bit choleric. You have to take control of your Online Business especially during its infancy stages. Your lack of control is a very good weapon to kill it so beware. Take control.

I know that there are people who are afraid of making mistakes but let us be realistic – we are all human. We make mistakes – whether we like it or not.

The best thing we can do is learn from our mistakes as much as possible and avoid making major mistakes. If you take control and make mistakes, at least you are in control and you can change it, not something or somebody else.

I also believe that we are all smart people in one way or another. Most of us just lack the will to take action. This simple formula summarizes it all:

[Intelligence / Work = Results]

Most of us are very intelligent people but without work, there will be no results. Now it is a small wonder why the people whom we call half-wits still get ahead of us.

Be action-oriented. Produce results!

Copyright © Edmund Loh

About the Author:
Edmund Loh is the author of the E-Biz Wiz Blog and Starting An Internet Business Special Report. Visit E-Biz Wiz Blog for proven ideas, tips and information on starting your own Internet Business and subscribe to the 12 Day Internet Marketing Success Course. http://ebizmodelsyoucancopy.blogspot.com

You are the Master of Your Destiny

By Krishnan Chinnasamy

Every thought of a human being is transformed as picture in everybody's mind.

The picture transformed into your mind will be depending upon your thought. If your thought is about success, the picture transformed into your mind, will be as if you are getting success.

If your thought is failure, then the picture transformed into your mind will be as if you are getting failure.

Never think or doubt, when you begin with something that it will end in failure. If you think so, then that thought or doubt will be transformed as a 'failure' picture in your mind and your sub-conscious mind will direct your action according to that 'failure picture', which naturally your action will end in failure.

On the other hand, if you think on the other side, the thing will end in success, your thought will be transformed into the picture of success, and automatically your subconscious mind will direct the result to end in success. It is the secret of nature.

Because you can yield only what you plant.

Planting of paddy yield only paddy and not wheat.

Planting of success in your mind only yield success and not failure.

Thoughts, picture, and action all have close interaction with each other. They cannot differ and distract at anytime.

For example, if you want to have your own house, think deeply about your dream house as if you have purchased a beautiful house.

Naturally your dream house will be transformed into as a picture in your mind. Your sub-conscious mind will direct you to convert that dream house into a real house. It will create circumstances and opportunities for you to convert that dream house into a real house out of your own resources.

One single thought leads to many thoughts. If you want to be rich you should constantly think of having huge money. That one thought leads to many thoughts like huge bank balance, having beautiful house, variety of cars, beautiful ornaments, all modern amenities, huge play ground, beautiful swimming pool in your house, and still many more thoughts.

Such a positive single thought is having a power to create so many positive thoughts.

Similarly it is not wonder that one single negative thought will also create so many negative thoughts.

So negative thoughts are also having equal power like positive thoughts power.

You cannot underestimate the power of negative thoughts.

Always think good, think positively.

Never let your mind to think negatively and practice to think positively, then every thing will happen in favor of you.

C.Krishnan Author

C.Krishnan, was formerly a Government official in a state government corporation in India.

He has written many articles on motivation, children, parenting, etc.,

Please view more articles in his homepage http://www.tncity.biz/article.html